Thursday, January 29, 2004

Mmm, Lemony

Gothamist reports1 on the upcoming movie version of nerd ur-text The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Woohoo! (No word on how exactly Gothamist got its info, but I'm in no position to doubt blogs read by more than 3 people. If it's on the Internet, it must be true.) The casting is great. Aside from her appropriately space-age-kooky name, Zooey Deschanel is just so alt and pixie, which there just isn't enough of in Hollywood; plus, she's had two chances to be Touched by Jake Gyllenhaal in The Swimsuit Area, which is my ultimate goal in life. And Mos Def! Loved him alongside fab Jeffrey Wright in Topdog/Underdog (next in my pile of library books).

Hitchhiker's Guide won't be at a theater (Canadians: theater theatre) near you until 2005, though. This year's most anticipated kids'-book-turned-movie is—no, not this jank—but Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, due out Xmas Day and based on the short 10-part (eventually 13) series of books by the same name. The Lemony Snicket books are some of my favorites—painfully clever, not really appropriate for children, and masterfully black in their humor (just like, uh, Wanda Sykes). The story follows the 3 Baudelaire orphans, whose parents die (or do they?) in a mysterious fire, leaving them a vast fortune coveted by their icky uncle (or is he?) Count Olaf, a cross-dressing but still butch doppelgänger for the faggy Purple Pie Man. I recommend a rainy day at the Coop reading the whole series; it's quick, pun-addled, and addictive in a way Harry Pothead only dreams of being. Hell, there's even an armchair right next to the special A Series of Unfortunate Events display in the Coop Kids section.

As far as the movie, it covers the first 3 books, and HELLO I NEED TRAILERS NOW!....But all they done given me is a (probably fake) teaser poster from the notoriously unreliable 6th graders cum-stained fanboys "critics" at Ain't It K3wl n00z. Again, the casting rocks: I loathe star Jim Carrey, but you're supposed to loathe Count Olaf. Severe-looking Meryl "You can see through my dress" Streep plays severe prude (and grammar Nazi) Aunt Josephine—obvious typecasting. Ditto for Jude Law,2 who's just smouldering-slash-sketchy enough to play the similarly styled Lemony Snicket. And any movie with topheavy comedienne Jennifer Coolidge (as a pale-faced Olaf henchwoman) is fine by me—she "makes me want a hot dog real bad."

1. I hereby declare a moratorium on this phrase, and the similar "Gawker notes" and "via Queer Day." Try generating your own G.D. content for once?!
2. Jude is the former occupant of the place inside me now, um, filled by Jake Gyllenhaal


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