Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Girls on Film

Ooh, my first blind item—it's like Page Six, but gayer (as if that's possible!). There's been lots of chatter in the pink press recently about Latter Days, a newish indie movie about a closeted Mormon who discovers his flaming homodom and finds true love (plus plenty of hot, sweaty, gorgeously filmed mansex) all while on his mission in L.A.—this despite religious pressures and a nasty stint of electroshock "deprogramming." (Shades of both But I'm A Cheerleader and Return to Oz in one movie? Yes please!) Directed by the screenwriter of 2002's Sweet Home Alabama (which also featured a gay man in a queer-hostile setting), the film is billed as a comedy/romance—but we all know no one sees these sorts of gay-films-with-pretensions-of-relevance for anything but the frequent softcore porn segments. And man-on-man does this film look like it will deliver the goods. After all, it is produced by TLA Releasing, sister to porn-pedding TLA Video. (The film hits Kendall Square in March; tide yourself over until then with these juicy screencaps. Special thanks to Xtina for the info.)

Anyway, Latter Days has been making headlines because—shocking!—movie theaters in Utah are refusing to screen it. (State motto: "Being Gay Is Wrong, But Having Four Underage Wives Is So So Right.") Sure, religious fundamentalism sucks ass, but the real reason I care about the film is that one of the stars of this hot little boy-on-boy romp (don't steven think I'm going to tell you which one) went to college with me—and probably most of you—and even quasi-dated one of my female friends.

Ahem.

Let's go back to those screencaps for a moment. Now, I took some kooky klasses as an undergrad, but I don't recall any course offerings on jock strap repair....I guess that's showbiz for ya!

In other hotly anticipated "homos in the Heartland" film news: casting is finally official on the appropriately-titled Brokeback Mountain [stop, stop, this is just too easy...must...resist...], an upcoming film about two gay (but married-with-children) Wyoming cowboys who have a hot-n-heavy affair out where the buffalo roam. (It's based on a short story by Pulitzer winner E. Annie Proulx, who also wrote the stunning and dyke-friendly The Shipping News—the best entry in the awesome-novel-turned-awful-movie genre since The English Patient.) While the short story is about outing misguided, misogynistic notions of cowboy homosociality inherent in the American mythos of the west as the painfully repressed need for jolly faggotry they truly are, the film's claim to fame is that it will be the first mainstream Hollywood feature with explicit gay sex scenes. Bareback Mountin Indeed. And PRAISE GOD HALLELUJAH & BRIGHAM YOUNG, the two horny cowpokes will be played by none other than Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes, you heard me correctly: Mr. Naomi Watts and Mr. Kirsten Dunst will soon be saddlin' up ropin' steer stokin' the fire buckin' broncos cockfighting homo on the range I'm sorry, this is just too much fun, I have to stop. Here's some more Heath and some more Jake. Let me get you a towel.

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