Sunday, February 15, 2004

The Other White Meat

I bet that title made you think this was gonna be about Asian people!

The grocery store down the street from my apartment always has interesting specials, and this President's Day they have one of their best specials yet: a buy one, get one free deal on half-hams, meaning in effect that if you buy half a pig they'll throw in the other half for free. OK, any butcher will tell you that's not exactly true, but this still strikes me as unbearably funny, in a Judgement of Solomon kind of way. In a time when some in Massachusetts are having trouble understanding all the nuances of marriage law, it's comforting to see a local supermarket offer such a literal interpretation of the common religious wedding incantation "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

If nothing else, this just shows that the Foodmaster has a penchant for pig humor: a few months ago, they put up a sign advertising "BI PORK CHOPS," revealing either a severe lack of marquee letters or a desire to attract a more Angelina Jolie-loving clientele. Yes, I just used "pork" and "Angelina Jolie" in the same sentence (twice now!); my ranking in Google searches is about to skyrocket! XXX Click here 4 more HOT HOT pr0n

Look folks, my brain's been pickling in alcohol all weekend. I got nuthin.

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