Saturday, February 14, 2004

V.D.

Yay! Today is February 14th, a.k.a. V.D.—a whole day devoted to celebrating venereal disease! But what confuses me is that February 14th is the Feast of St. Valentine, yet the patron saint of venereal disease is actually Fiacre, whose feast day is August 30th. I guess the Catholic Church has a lot more to worry about these days.

Anyway, I'ma head down to Chinatown tonight and get me some Syphilis to celebrate! Who's with me? In case you can't make it, you can actually get diseases sent to you in the mail, thanks to the adorable Giant Microbes (via Chitra), which sells moony-eyed plush-doll versions of the microbes that cause various maladies, including an unbearably cute Halitosis and a Tummy Ache that reminds me of John Lennon with its shaggy hair. And if huggable Ebola just isn't enough for you, head to Parasite Pals, which chronicles the adventures of animated cutie Holly and her friends Dig Dig the Head Louse, Tickles the Tapeworm ("Pet Peaves: Fingernails, tattletales"), and others. Though the tie-in products aren't as fuzzy-huggy as the Microbes, they are quite handy: how have I lived so long without a tapeworm-shaped tape measure? And don't forget to join the Happy Parasite Friendship Club!!! [Buy Parasite Pals stuff online at Archie McPhee]

For last-minute V.D. procrastinators: design your own candy hearts to go with those one-of-a-kind indie rock valentines: "I think I loved you more last year."

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