Friday, March 12, 2004

Random Links

These should keep you busy for the weekend while I'm gone.

I actually groaned aloud while reading about yesterday's subway bombings in Madrid. When I was there for 2 weeks, the apartment I lived in was right at the Atocha subway stop, which was ground zero for the blasts.

No means yes? I am so totally confused by yesterday's vote to ban gay marriage. As if the whole situation weren't enough of a legal contortion act already, turns out the Mass. legislature's final vote to ban same-sex marriage is actually the first step in allowing same-sex marriage. Asphinctersayswhat? Thankfully, the Boston Globe does an admirable job of explaining the complex legal wranglings behind the vote.

In related news, the Chicago Sun Times posted the best headline ever about gay marriage recently, leading off an article about Rosie O'Donnell's marriage in SF and her criticism of Preznit Bush: 'Rosie O'Donnell Weds Girlfriend, Slams Bush'. HAHAHAHA! I think I just wet myself. (The headline's now been removed, but here's the Google cache to prove it existed once; also look for it in the dictionary under "best double entendre ever.")

From the Reality TV meets Virtual Reality department: Rebecca, the sleepy blond/token undergrad from The Real World: Seattle, is now in a band with Keanu Reeves. The world has officially come to an end.

I see London, I see France: With their soothing music, self-cleaning floors, and pre-warmed seats, I thought Boston's space-age public toilets were cool. I also enjoy the one-way mirrored stall doors of the bathrooms at Boston's only Indian/French/hooka fusion eatery Mantra. But all that pales in comparison to this experimental loo from London, with its 4 transparent walls/monolith chic. Why am I suddenly humming the 2001: A Space Odyssey theme song?

Why I'm glad I own a Nomad Jukebox: A woman was arrested for bludgeoning her boyfriend to death with an iPod. She claims she was acting in self-defense/retaliation after he "accused her of illegally downloading music and erased about 2000 of her MP3s. She complained that it took 3 months to build her music collection." Too bad she didn't have one of those colorful iPod Minis—her boyf probably would have just gotten away with a few bruises; plus, bloodstains look so much worse on white.

In related tech-violence news, Kerry-hating hack Mickey Kaus is all a-twitter about John Kerry's ringing endorsement of Blackberry enemas [scroll down to March 11]. As if it weren't enough that a Blackberry plays a pivotal role on the best TV show ever, Everwood, now I have a whole new reason to covet those sexy little personal digital assistants!

[insert witty Simpsons quote here]: Someone submitted the plot of a Simpsons episode to Dear Abby, and she answered it, thinking it was a real situation requiring her attention. Fuckin ghost writer—this would never have happened if the REAL Abby were still alive!

And finally: slutty Match.Com has a great Attraction Test that gives you a rundown of what "your type" is in general, using a photo-ranking widget à la "Am I Hot or Not?". They say it's been tested for some 15 years on hundreds of thousands of folks, and I believe it: despite offering photos that were marginally blah at best, the test was surprisingly accurate about what I found appealing—and you'd be surprised how difficult it is to explain what "type" of person you find attractive. OK, so yeah, the test at one point I'm pretty sure claimed I was attracted to other species ("You favor pretty boys and 'boy next door' types, but most of all you're attracted to traditional 'Ecto-Mesomorphs'"—aren't those like algae or amoebas or something?), and it definitely thought I was a pedophile ("Sometimes, you like younger men, by a good gap"), but I still buy it. So all you muscular, green-eyed, bespectacled guys out there—whether you belong to a frat house, a sports team, or an invertebrate sub-genus—Match.com wants you to know that here I come!

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